Last week Saturday, March 21, one of our various reporters spotted the school’s very own Mr. Sherman at Meijer. Normally, this would not be such a shock, after all, teachers need to eat. However, we have a multitude of reports saying that Mr. Sherman often boasts of his farm and the homemade food he receives from some Amish families on a monthly basis. Therefore, it was quite a shock to see him at Meijer. I took it upon myself to interview Mr. Sherman about this spotting and shed some light on an otherwise completely unknown part of Mr. Sherman’s life. 

“The last time I went to Meijer was probably a few years ago. We grow a lot of vegetables and we get a monthly delivery of meat and dairy from the Amish, so I don’t need to go to Meijer very often,” said Mr. Sherman when asked about when he last went to Meijer. When asked about the reports of him being spotted at Meijer on Saturday, he said, “Oh I must have forgotten about that. Well sometimes we run out of things like onions and garlic because we use them so often. I’ll also get some pretzels sometimes.” 

Mr. Sherman getting pretzels was unheard of. It was a common belief of all members of the school that Mr. Sherman didn’t eat pretzels or chips. They were too highly processed for him. I asked him if he got chips as well since he enjoyed pretzels. However, Mr. Sherman seemed taken aback by this question and quickly changed his story. “Oh! Pretzels? I never get pretzels. They’re too highly processed and oily for me. Everyone knows that!” Mr. Sherman then said, in a whispered tone, “No one was supposed to know I actually eat pretzels!” 

Despite Mr. Sherman’s sudden change in story, I had managed to gather fool-proof evidence of him going to Meijer and buying pretzels. 

“Fine, I did buy pretzels from Meijer. I enjoy eating them,” said Mr. Sherman. “But don’t you dare tell any of the other students or teachers. I can’t have people thinking I actually eat pretzels!” 

“Also, I still get a majority of my food from farm stands and my farm. I feel the fresh, organic food is much better for everyone,” said Mr. Sherman. 

So there you have it, it has been confirmed that Mr. Sherman does indeed go to Meijer. Not just to get things he’s running out of or that he can’t make at home, but also to buy pretzels. 

Happy April Fools!